Episode 95: Marilyn Simon Rothstein, author of Crazy to Leave You
Marilyn Simon Rothstein, an author who is known for her sharp humor, introduces us to Crazy to Leave You.
A novel which Booklist called a “fast-paced and entertaining story will appeal to those who like tales of women succeeding on their own terms.”
Marilyn shares her inspiration for the novel, her best writing advice and some insights on where she finds her funny.
Books Mentioned:
Crazy to Leave You by Marilyn Simon Rothstein (Bookshop.org / Amazon.com )
Husbands and Other Sharp Objects by Marilyn Simon Rothstein (Bookshop.org / Amazon.com )
Lift and Separate by Marilyn Simon Rothstein (Bookshop.org / Amazon.com )
Connect with the author:
Transcript:
** Transcript created using AI (so please forgive the typos!) **
Lainey 0:00
I'm here with Marilyn Simon Rothstein to chat about Crazy to Leave You, which is such a funny book. It's the funniest book I've read in quite some time. And I am excited to hear how on earth Marilyn actually gets the funny on the page in the way that she is so blessedly good at. Welcome, and thanks for joining me today.
Marilyn Simon Rothstein 0:19
Thank you. Laney thank you for inviting me.
Lainey 0:22
So let's just start at the beginning for folks who won't have heard of this book yet or might not have read it because it just came out. Tell them a little bit about crazy to leave you. What's the story about What's the book about?
Marilyn Simon Rothstein 0:33
Well, I happen to have a copy of it right here. Look, is this big enough?
Lainey 0:39
For those on the podcast, Marilyn has a massive poster board that is taking up the entire screen. I love it. Tell folks about the book. If they haven't read it yet. Tell them a little bit about crazy to leave you.
Marilyn Simon Rothstein 0:51
Okay. I spent my entire life researching Crazy to Leave You and most of it involves me being in front of the refrigerator.
The story is about a 41 year old, very successful New York advertising executive named Lauren Leo. She has got the world by a string but she doesn't realize it. And her goal is she wants to meet a guy get married have a family. She winds up dating a guy she kissed behind a bunk at camp when she was 13 years old. met again at a reunion of the camp years and years later and decides this is what she has been looking for. And she is obsessed with her weight so she diets herself down to a size 12 And she's so proud of herself on her wedding day that she's actually thinking of wearing the size tag down the aisle instead of the dress.
As she is thinking this. The groom Eric texts her sister to say he doesn't want to get married and she is literally left before the altar. She then has to deal with this. She's no longer calling it the wedding. She's calling it the great humiliation after I thought up the character of Lauren Leo and I gave her a size four body shaming mother who would probably paint the kitchen pink to match the sweet low.
I also gave her a sister who was just way too perfect. I mean, she would annoy you lady she would annoy me and I gave her a sister who had renamed herself Margot Lemoore because she became a soap opera star and doesn't come to the wedding but arrives the next day to sit on Lauren's couch. And it doesn't look like she's leaving until the diet soda runs out. Lauren is now back to where she started and has to pick herself up. And the story is the story of a woman's strength. And I love writing about strong women. But often I don't think we realize how strong we are until we face something that you know we never thought of facing. I mean she was just plowing straight ahead. She's also in a place where she never thought she'd be because she is in her late 50s and being left for a 22 year old 34 Triple D so Lauren picks herself up off the ground and gets involved in the advertising business winds up having her sister there winds up having her mother tell her little juicy things like stay on your diet and and freeze your eggs. This is the advice. This is what she goes through. And she goes out and deals with her biggest client New England Ken, which is the biggest manufacturer of porta potties in the world. The number one John on college campuses, and our boss who's never seen a scourge he didn't think should be shorter and plods ahead and makes it through. If you don't laugh. I will give you the chocolate cake that's in my refrigerator. If I don't see eat it before I see you.
Lainey 4:16
Well, I will say it made me laugh. And I like where did this idea of like pairing her relationship with food, which is obviously a lifelong struggle with this horrible situation. She's in and getting married, like what made you put those two things together?
Marilyn Simon Rothstein 4:30
Um, personal experience. Not that I got ditched at the altar because I was married when I was four. But I have paired eating with so many things in my life. It's really hard to move forward. And she does move forward with a lot of laughs along the way, but part of her arc is dealing with the relationship with food right? Not just our relationship with people but her relationship with foods. Yeah, yes. And our relationship with her with her family because of that, like she always
To her, her younger sister, the one is perfect. Also, she thinks looks perfect.
She wants to look like, you know, at one point, she said, I never I never wore a bow in my life, her sister is wearing this dress with this giant bow. And she said, not even in my hair. I thought I might look at having the bow in my hair. You know, we all have our obsessions. And this is her obsession, she comes to realize that this is what it's all about, and move forward. And it's just a story of realizing you're enough. I love that. And what was your inspiration? How did you get to this particular story for this book, I just had a thought about someone being left at the altar. And that's where I went, and I am not an outliner. If I had an outline a book, there would be no book. So I just I just sit there. And I think of things as I go like her sister who's the soap opera star who's been fired. They killed her three times. On, she came to me the book was half written when she came to me. And I just knew I just loved her. I just did was like, Oh, I love you. And so she is the protagonist, let's call her best friend, but she's her sister.
Lainey 6:23
And what changed from that first vision when you kind of like got it all on the page to the version that the readers are reading now, is it completely the same? Or is there anything people might be surprised readers might be surprised to know is different than the first version?
Marilyn Simon Rothstein 6:35
Well, I can't tell you the ending because then I'll ruin it for everybody. Right? Don't do that. Don't do that. No, I'm not telling you the ending. I think I changed the ending about 10 times. And now I think I have the right ending. Interesting.
Lainey 6:48
Tell us bar was the most out there version that didn't make it like Did she kill people was it KIll Bill, like everybody's bloody on the floor? Like, what's the craziest version that didn't make it?
Marilyn Simon Rothstein 6:59
The craziest version that didn't make it, it's I have this thing. Every time I write a book, the editor looks at it and says, the people are to mean I think to myself, I must come from some foil family. I don't think this is to mean but like everybody else thinks it's to mean. So that's one of the changes the things that people were saying to each other. Like I really, I toned it down and it was better toned down.
Lainey 7:27
It's interesting, because it sounds like your family's a little snarky, maybe. But are they? Are they funny? Like is your like, like, where's this? Where does all this funny come from? Like, like, Where'd you get it from?
Marilyn Simon Rothstein 7:40
Well, when I was a kid, back in the Stone Age, when I had a pet dinosaur, you did not speak up. Like the way my children speak up. That didn't happened, you were seen and not heard. So the only way to get any attention to my family was to actually be funny about something. So I actually think that's where it started. But until this day, I will call my sister in the morning. And we will Chitty chat. And then before she hangs up, she goes, Did we leave anybody out? And that's our farewell. You know, also, my oldest daughter is a playwright and television writer. So she and she, she writes all different things. But she her a lot of her plays have fantastic humor in it. No matter the situation, we seem to overcome it by finding a side we can laugh about. And it could be a really bad situation, far worse than being left at the altar. But we always gather around and somehow find some reason to laugh to find some joy in our togetherness, right?
Lainey 8:48
Like humor, humor is a coping mechanism, right? It's a way of getting us through the situations that otherwise you're like, how do you face that? So I love that I have the joy of being part of blue sky book chat with you. And so we get to interact through that. And I have always wondered, that's a it's a For those not familiar, it's a group for readers. It's on Facebook, I'll put the, if you're listening to this on the podcast, I'll put it in the show notes. So you can join if you're interested, but I get to interact with you. And I've always wondered, like, Where does this humor come from? Because I couldn't I could never be you. Right? We all have our unique thing. Your reviewer is so unique, and it's so huge, and I always wondered
Marilyn Simon Rothstein 9:21
Thank you, thank you, you made my day.
Lainey 9:25
I'm gonna quickly read a review if that's okay with you. This is a beautiful endorsement from someone else who's been on the podcast, Maddie Dawson, who wrote among other things, The Magic of Found Objects and listened to what she said about this book. She says Crazy to Leave You is the funniest book I've read in practically forever. Learn Leo has been jilted at the altar at 41 is sarcastic, lovable, brave and dropped dead hilarious. In other words, perfect. And as she makes her way through the humiliation of her post wedding world, not only does she have to deal with some pretty rough dieting decisions, but she's also got some crazy work life and way too many wedding presents to deal with. Plus, there's a really big question on everyone's mind. Is anybody ever going to love her again? Trust me, this book will have you snort laughing from page one. Do not be drinking hot liquids while you read it.
Marilyn Simon Rothstein 10:17
Thank you, Maddie.
What a great like she got it, she did a better one than myself.
Lainey 10:24
So, um, talk to me about advice for other writers. I think one of the things that's interesting that you've talked about in the past is you started as a writer, as an author pretty late in your own life. And so like, what advice do you give to people who want to write either funny books or just novels like you or her maybe starting late in life?
Marilyn Simon Rothstein 10:41
When someone tells you at a party, I would love to write a book, when you say, what do you do, and I say, I write books. And then they go, I would love to write a book, you know, that person's never writing a book. Because to write a book, you have to sit there and write the book. So my first advice to everybody who ever thought about writing a book is sit down and try writing. See how long you can sit there. People don't realize the amount of work that each of the books that are published takes, you know, not just the first draft, which a lot of people think that's the book, they have not they have no concept. I mean, when I wrote lift and separate, I had no I thought I handed it in to the publisher. And then we were done. Except they were going to change my commas to answer something. But as it turns out, no, you know, is, as it turns out, there were a million. That's number one is if you want to be a writer, you have to write number two, once you start writing, find a writer's workshop, or somewhere you can try what you're writing out on somewhere that will help you belong to a community, I think belonging to a community of writers is really important. Even if you're working full time, a turkey just ran across three turkeys just ran across my yard.
Lainey 12:08
You can't make that up.
Marilyn Simon Rothstein 12:10
I mean, should I catch them, I'll have dinner.
The first one you go to may not be the one for you. It's sort of like looking for psychiatrists, find your people while you're writing. And then you know, I have to hand in something at a certain time. So it makes you less likely to procrastinate. So that's it my two advices. Or if you want to write write, and if you want to write and you're writing, join a workshop.
Lainey 12:38
Great advice. And do you find that like, as readers interact with your books, this is your let me get this right. Is this your third one? Yeah, this is my third. So do you find as readers are interacting with your books, and whether it's on blue sky book chat on Facebook, or in book clubs? Like, are there certain things that have surprised you about what readers ask or what they say about your work? Like, is there anything that from where you started, you didn't necessarily expec?
Marilyn Simon Rothstein 13:02
I will tell my favorite story. My sharp object, who had been married to for lo, these 45 years, was traveling around with me when I was doing a book tour. And my second book had come out. And he was just standing and back of the room.
Lainey 13:19
For context, if the people haven't read it yet, it's called Husbands and Other Sharp Objects.
Marilyn Simon Rothstein 13:24
In which the woman is deciding, is trying to get a divorce from her husband, while arranging a wedding for her daughter who's marrying his lawyer. Okay, so that's the premise of the book. And I'm actually married 45 years, my husband is standing in the back of the room. He's not bothering anyone. He's not saying anything. A woman stands up and instead of turning to the front of the room, turns to the back of the room and says to my husband, Alan, I have a question for you. And he, no one is ever, you know, he disliked.
We've been traveling for three months. No one's asked him a question. And he just looked at her and she said, What's it like living with Marilyn? Well, we looked at her straight on this is in a room of 100 people and said, Who's Marilyn?
That was the oddest question, because I just didn't expect him to talk to. Yeah, it's been a question.
Lainey 14:21
Well, obviously, he's got as good a humor as you do sense of humor as you do, because that's a brilliant answer.
Marilyn Simon Rothstein 14:26
Who's Marlon? I was I was shocked. I thought it was really good. Excellent. But the humor, you know, it's heartfelt, too. I mean, it's, it's, it's, I just think there's a lot of love in it. Right?
Lainey 14:39
Yes. Well, I am so glad you've joined me today. I always like to wrap up by asking a couple of things. If people want to connect with you out in the world on social media. Do you have any particular places that you hang out that they might find you?
Marilyn Simon Rothstein 14:53
Well, there's a bar on route 44 and Avon, no, Facebook, I'm on Facebook. So please join me on Facebook and on Twitter and Instagram, but if you really want to have fun, come to Facebook and we'll have a party. Yay. A
Lainey 15:08
nd also on blue sky book chat where you and I both get together. Yeah. And is there anything I haven't asked that you'd love to talk about? Or want to make sure you say?
Marilyn Simon Rothstein 15:16
No, I just want to thank you for inviting me. Even though I'm always very, very nervous that I'm gonna blow up the computer that didn't happen. So I thank you for your guidance.
Lainey 15:27
And Crazy to Leave You is just out I think this week, so go go check it out. Yeah, all the best and thanks for joining me.